Home Lifestyle Straight women have given up expecting to orgasm

Straight women have given up expecting to orgasm

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Women in heterosexual relationships have fewer orgasms (Picture: Getty Images)

Straight women have been shortchanged sexually for so long, they now officially don’t expect to climax with their partner.

In fact, the ‘orgasm gap’ has widened to such a degree, many have given up on achieving them altogether.

According to a new study, partner gender plays a significant role in how women approach sex. and their likelihood of reaching orgasm.

Building on previous work that found heterosexual women only orgasm 65% of the time during sex (compared to 86% of the time for lesbian women and 95% of the time for heterosexual men) researchers set out to see how women’s partners shape their expectations in the bedroom.

Across two samples, they found ‘women reported significantly higher expectations for clitoral stimulation and orgasm’ with a female partner compared to a male partner.

Essentially, they didn’t expect much input from men on whether they’d climax.

Not only that, it was revealed having a male partner made the women less likely to pursue orgasm themselves – essentially, they’re past caring.

On the contrary, anticipating that a female partner would put the work in to help them reach orgasm gave them motivation to get there regardless. If you believe you can achieve, right?

Expectations were higher in lesbian relationships (Picture: Getty Images)

Kate Dickman, lead author of the study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, commented: ‘If women, or men partnered with women, want to increase their own or their partners’ orgasm, they should create an environment that encourages orgasm pursuit through diverse sex acts, particularly those involving clitoral stimulation.’

While these findings could be seen as negative towards men, co-author Grace Wetzel claims this isn’t the case.

‘The problem is not inherent to men or to being heterosexual, but to the dominant sexual scripts associated with heterosexual sex,’ she said. ‘Sexual scripts are flexible and can be changed.’

The results also shouldn’t be interpreted to suggest orgasm is the be all and end all of a fulfilling sex life; they merely highlight a trend regarding expectation and sexual satisfaction.

In some cases, the issue can be down to men misunderstanding what many cisgender women need to achieve climax.

Duchess Iphie, a sex, intimacy and relationship counsellor, previously told Metro.co.uk: ‘This [the orgasm gap] is due to adults being made to believe that orgasm is achieved through penetration. While penetrative sex can lead to an orgasm for some women, most women will experience an orgasm through clitoral stimulation – AKA oral sex.’

And the responsibility of talking through what works (or doesn’t) falls on both parties, as couples therapist Louis Venter explained: ‘It is important for couples to work together to explore and understand their now combined sexual journey by learning to communicate with not only yourself, but each other.

‘Communicating with a partner requires not only being able to vocalise your feelings, but having a partner that will actively listen, without judgement. 

‘When we work on the barriers to communication in the relationship generally, communication within sex will naturally improve – leading to more fulfilment.’

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