Home Lifestyle I’m nervous that I won’t wow my husband on our wedding night

I’m nervous that I won’t wow my husband on our wedding night

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I want it to be memorable, the best night of our lives to follow the best day (Picture: Getty Images)

Wedding venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.

Dear Alison,

My wedding is just over two months away and I couldn’t be more excited or feel more prepared.

Our venue and vendors are all booked and confirmed, my dress is everything I could have ever dreamed of and amazingly, there’s been no dramas with the table plan or hen do. I should be the most relaxed bride ever, but there is one thing about the wedding day that I feel totally unprepared for. Or should I say the wedding night.

I’m no prude, and my fiancé and I have a great sex life normally, but now I’m worried that our usual experience between the sheets just isn’t going to cut it on our big night. I want it to be memorable, the best night of our lives to follow the best day.

Friends have told me I need to do something to make it special – they even suggested I should go out and buy special lingerie to really add to the excitement. After that, I fell down the rabbit hole into a host of bridal and women’s magazines saying what else I need to be doing to build the anticipation. 

Flirt during the ceremony, let him carry me across the threshold, fill the room with romance, rose petals and champagne, and of course, wear sexy lingerie, be open to trying new things and enjoy myself.

It all feels a lot, and in fact, I’m so fixated on how the evening is going to go that I’m bordering on not even being excited for the day.

Help me! Do I need to wow him on the wedding night or am I putting unnecessary pressure on myself?

Thanks,

Susanna



Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?

Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.

If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.

Email [email protected] to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.

Dear Susanna,

First, let me reassure you that what you are experiencing is entirely normal. The build-up to your wedding day, while exciting, can often bring with it a whirlwind of emotions, expectations, and anticipation for what happens when you and your partner have waved your guests goodbye and made your way upstairs.

It is understandable to want this night to be as unique and memorable as the day itself.

However, it is crucial to remember that the true value of your wedding night comes from the love, connection, and intimacy you share with your partner rather than any specific actions or props.

Your fiancé is marrying you because they love you for who you are, not for any grand gestures or extravagant lingerie – and putting pressure on yourself to wow your partner can detract from the occasion’s true meaning.

Instead of focussing solely on making the night perfect, try to enjoy your time together and be present. After all, the most memorable moments are often the ones that happen organically, without any elaborate plan. 

Try not to put yourself under so much pressure (Picture: AKP Branding Stories)

While it is lovely to consider ways to make the night special, such as wearing special lingerie or planning romantic gestures, it is crucial to remember that your relationship is built on so much more than just one night. 

It’s also worth remembering that your wedding day can be a mix of excitement and many other emotions, and at some point, exhaustion may hit you. 

You wouldn’t believe how many couples are just too tired (or drunk) to consummate their marriage on the night of. 

So try not to put yourself under so much pressure.

Instead of trying to live up to unrealistic expectations set by magazines, social media, or well-meaning friends, focus on what truly matters: your love for each other.

Trust in the bond you have built, and let your wedding night unfold naturally without feeling the need to force anything or conform to external standards.

That said – if you feel comfortable and excited about incorporating some special touches into your wedding night, by all means, go for it!

Whether wearing a beautiful piece of lingerie or sharing a romantic moment with a bottle of champagne, do what feels authentic to you and your relationship – and it may be that carrying you over the threshold or sprinkling rose petals over the bed fits naturally with who you both are, and with the partnership you share.

Equally, though, on your wedding day, you’ll be pledging to spend the rest of your lives together. The life you will share together will be as much about the small, everyday moments as much as the significant milestones (if not more so).

So, if romantic gestures don’t feel natural to you, take a deep breath, relax, and trust your relationship’s strength.

Instead of worrying about ‘wowing’ your new husband and meeting expectations, focus on cherishing each other and celebrating the beginning of your new life together.

Wishing you a wedding day filled with love, laughter, and unforgettable moments.

Best wishes

Alison

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]

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